I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
