its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
