My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
