is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
