Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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