are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
