It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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