ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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