another moral hangover. fuck.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
