dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
