His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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