I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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