how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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