She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
