I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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