He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
