belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
