fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
