C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
