when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
