I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
