I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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