The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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