He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
