what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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