she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
