Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
