so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
