so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
