even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
