I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
