i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize