She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
