so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
