I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize