Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
