just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
