Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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