Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
