No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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