You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
