I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
