he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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