he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i now understand why vodka
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
