We're facebook friends in real life
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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