I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize