he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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