I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
