Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
