No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
