I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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