I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
