So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
