ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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