Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
