so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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