apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize