By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
