Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
