Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
