That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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