How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You ruined the universe
Randomize
