I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
