we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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