the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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