the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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