shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize