Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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