you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize