Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
