you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize