The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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