u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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