I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
