Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm really busy with my period
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