Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
