im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
