look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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