last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
