Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so let's talk penis.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
