return my video game
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
